What’s Alluring About the World’s Largest Cruise Ship

What’s the allure of the world’s largest ship? In a word, entertainment. Of the four cruise lines I’ve sailed with, no one does it better than Royal Caribbean.
 
The fare served up on the stages of Allure of the Seas is a refreshing departure from the usual shipboard shows and are worth the effort of scheduling your trip around them.
 
Allure’s full production of the musical “Chicago” was great fun, and the voices were strong and

Broadway on the seas.

clear. How neat is that—a Broadway-quality show for free! And if you get to the theater super early, you can even get the best seats in the house.
 
Then there was “Ocean Aria,” a diving and acrobatic show that’s so compelling you won’t want to take your eyes away for a second.

Adonis-like acrobat brothers wrap their bodies around each other in poses where you can’t tell where one body ends and the other begins. Divers from 90 ft. high fly into the air and amazingly, land gracefully and securely into the Allure’s tiny theater pool.
 
Inside the ship, on the ice rink, professional skaters—one a veteran of “Disney on Ice”—twirl, jump, spin and lift, while on a moving vessel, no less. The “Monopoly” theme lent itself well to playful and colorful sets and costumes.
 

Soaring from 90 ft. up.

The singers from “Chicago” re-emerged in “Blue Planet,” which had everything thrown in—acrobatics, singing and dancing—all in a celebration of nature. I won’t give it all away, but it included a trampoline, large rings and a human tree.
 
This comes on top of onboard surfing, ice skating, zip-lining, rock climbing and miniature golf. And then there are the three “neighborhoods;” their personalities ebbing and flowing by the hour. There’s the Promenade, the hub of the ship and venue for parades, dance classes and the best people-watching; Boardwalk, where you can ride a full-size carousel over and over again for free or eat foot-high pink cotton candy for a cost; and Central Park, an oasis of real foliage (but fake bird sounds).
 
Exciting, yes. But it does steal the show from the real leading lady—the mysterious, fascinating and ever-changing sea.
 
Not as Alluring
The Allure’s weak spot is the food. Some dinner dishes in the Main Dining Room were good (memorable was the shrimp on Italian-theme night), others were disappointing (Chicken Marsala was rendered as fried chicken with a nearly invisible sauce).
 
But what we most noticed—and missed—was the absence of beef choices, particularly compared to competing cruise lines.
 
We found that among the free dining options, the Windjammer buffet was often the best choice. Not only did it have a wider variety (shrimp crackers, anyone?), but some standout spicy Asian choices. It was a nice break from the usually bland and unimaginative dining room dishes.
 
Aside from the food, the other area where the ship doesn’t compare well to, say, the Caribbean Princess, is the staterooms. While okay on size, the Allure’s cabins offered less in the way of storage space. The closets are tight and night tables have open slots, which make them minimally useful.

Another downside is that the balcony chairs don’t recline, which makes seaside napping a challenge (but nothing that a glass of wine can’t cure!).
 
The Bottom Line
But, hey, you can’t be good at everything.

This may seem heretical, given all that the Allure and Oasis have going for them, but Musing wouldn’t recommend these ships for first-time cruisers. Because you’ll be permanently spoiled, and forever searching for the carousel and ice skating rink on every other ship.

Musing’s Top Tip: to really appreciate “Chicago,” stream or rent the movie version before your trip. And don’t forget to reserve all your shows online well in advance of your cruise. You can try to get in once on board, but be forewarned—the lines for standby outside the shows were substantial.

 

Photos by R. Greenburg

 

 

 

What Terrifies the Cruise Director and Scares the Pants Off the Rest of Us

I think most of us would agree that people-watching is a pleasure of the highest order on a cruise. It provides endless amusement and fodder for conversation. The antics of The Quest, the shockers of Love and Marriage, the laughs of the Sexiest Man, and on and on.

But sometimes, watching what people do is positively bewildering. Please, please, please, don’t do this on a cruise:

Ask if you can do a backflip on the ice with the ice show’s star skater for the camera. Unless you want to see the cruise director grow pale with visions of lawsuits dancing in his head.

Pick up a wild iguana at the Crown Bay pier in Charlotte Amalie to show off for your friends.

Cute and cuddly?

Unless you want your fellow cruisers to spend the rest of their trip fighting off salmonella.

Be so “photoblivious” that you step in the middle of the street to take a photo and ignore the cars trying to pass around you. Unless you want to try out the Caribbean medical system.

Play dodge-the-hand sanitizer man. Unless you want to spend two days of your cruise throwing up and quarantined.

As the comedians say, “You can’t make this stuff up.” It all happened on my Allure of the Seas cruise just a few weeks ago.

Cruise Reviews: The Good, The Bad and The Head-Scratcher

Somewhere along the line, this has probably happened to you. You go to a cruise review site to check out how people liked a ship you’re thinking of taking. The first review says it’s the best ever. The second review trashes it.

What a minute, you wonder, weren’t you guys on the same ship?

Ship reviews from cruisers certainly vary in terms of their usefulness. But that two reviews of the

same trip, the same ship at the same time can diverge so much is a down right head-scratcher.
 
I’ve found that for reviews of just about anything, whether they’re helpful comes down to how much you trust the reviewer, and how much the reviewer is just like you.

Know Thy Reviewer

It helps to know the following about the reviewer before acting on what you read:

 

Age—If you’re in your 20s, a review from someone in their 70s will most likely not be very relevant for you, as interests and energy level will not be the same.
 
Veteran or newbie—Because they’ve seen many changes to the industry over the years, veteran cruisers can become jaded. A review from someone after their first trip is likely to be quite different than someone just back from their 30^th.

Time of year—You’ll often see negative reviews from a cruiser who unknowingly went during school vacation season. Sharing confined space with 600 children for seven days can tax even the sunniest disposition.

Stateroom selection—Not surprisingly, those who spring for a suite tend to be in a better mood then those who don’t, and their reviews reflect it. Even the inside, outside and balcony rooms vary so much on every ship that a smaller-than-average room can color the cruiser’s experience.
 
Ship location also matters—a lot. If a cruiser was up every night with disco music pounding over his head, you can bet he’s not going to be kind in his review.
 
So, What’s a Good Review?
For me, a useful review is one that is:

Specific—Don’t just tell me the food is good or bad, tell me why. Does the buffet serve the same cold salads every day? Is there a wide variety of hot entrees? Which ones are the best?

The right length—Be too long and you lose the reader. Be too short and you don’t add value. Stick to what most made an impression.

Break up text—This one’s from a professional writer’s playbook. Use subheads (like my “Know Thy Reader” and “So, What’s a Good Review?” above), bullet points and boldface. It makes for easy skimming.

Share tips—Give readers inside info that will improve their cruise. Like how they should reserve show tickets online before their Oasis trip. Or that they can get made-to-order salmon for lunch at the AquaSpa Café on the Solstice.

Balanced—Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me, but when a review is too good, I get suspicious. And when it’s too negative, I get irritated. I’ve seen too many reviews where people let one small bad experience on a seven-day trip mar how they feel about the entire experience. It’s not fair to the cruise line or to readers. Things happen onboard as in life. See the bigger picture. Be fair. And be helpful.

Cruise Review Sites

Here are my favorite cruise review sites and why:

Cruisecritic.com—There are two types of reviews of the ships and ports; by the website’s authors and by members, organized by cruise line and ship. There’s also a great search tool to get to info quickly. And a robust forum on a wide variety of topics with updates every day, all day long.

 
Cruiseline.com—This has fewer member reviews and they’re shorter, but the site verifies that the authors actually went on the trips they’re reviewing. And Amazon-like, it enables readers to comment on reviews.
 
The Final Word—Yours
I’d love to know—do you review? Why or why not? What do you think makes a great review?

Musing’s Top Tip, An Update: A few weeks ago, I mentioned that shipmate.com had a neat free app for Android and Apple phones and tablets for cruisers. They just announced an update to the app for Android with more features and an improved design. You can download it from Google Play.

Cruise Foodie Favorites

Let’s face it—one of the top pleasures of cruising is eating. While the food may not be the best, the ships certainly make up for it in quantity.
 
And as an unabashed foodie, I love the growing emphasis of cuisine on cruises. Here, for your culinary consideration, are some food experiences you can have onboard beyond the usual MDR/buffet/specialty restaurant dining:

Food as entertainment—While most of the mass market ships have these now, Holland America really takes the cake when it comes to cooking demos. Through their partnership with Food and Wine magazine, HAL’s got a great Culinary Arts program, which boasts an-easy-to-view kitchen setup for demos. And for an extra charge, you can sign up for a small-group cooking class, complete with a chance to get your hands and apron dirty.

 
There are also celebrity chefs and “Iron Chef” knockoffs. We went to one years ago, where senior crew members competed and their food was judged by a panel of cruisers. It was terrific fun and memorable.


Indonesian pastries on HAL's Noordam

Tea ceremony—HAL also hosts a “tea ceremony” on its ships. In reality, it’s not so much of a ceremony as a chance to savor high quality tea and coffee, and sample Indonesian pastries--all at no extra charge. 

Galley tours—When we started cruising, these were only available through word of mouth. Now, everyone’s doing them. I never tire of the opportunity to sneak a peek behind the curtain. (So, those French fries are frozen after all…) Some of the tours are slick, complete with pitches to buy their cookbook, food carving demos, chef meets-and-greets, and often offer some sampling along the way. 

Salmon spread in Alaska's Inside Passage

The big spread—Then there are the special events that feature the special foods. Alas, the days of midnight buffets are long gone (anyone remember Celebrity’s spectacular presentation?), but there are a few events still around. Some Celebrity ships put on a not-very-publicized but elaborate brunch, Princess does a very nice seafood buffet in Alaska where salmon is king, and Royal Caribbean’s Freedom of the Seas features sidewalk sampling on its Promenade.
 
While the food is the thing at these events, they also usually have photo-worthy ice sculptures, food carvings and such.
 
Room service—While we rarely use this service, it’s great that it exists. Knowing what room service costs at hotels, there’s just something neat about having food delivered to your doorstep—without the exorbitant fee that usually comes with it. One word of caution, however: some cruise lines are adding a fee for late-night room service. For example, Allure of the Seas charges $3.95 for orders between midnight and 5 a.m.

Dine with a chef—We haven’t done it, but the newest thing is the “Chef’s Table” experience. Royal Caribbean has it on a number of ships and so too does Princess and Carnival. For an additional fee, you can enjoy a freshly made dinner, usually with a lot of courses, which showcases the chef’s skills, in an intimate, small group setting. Sample cost: $85/person on Allure of the Seas for a meal paired with wine.

Know of any other foodie fests on the seas? Let us know!

 

Be a Cruise Champion

When I read about a new ship launching, it makes me nervous. While the prospect of a new ship generally makes us veterans positively tingle with excitement, these days it just gives me heartburn.

And it’s because of articles like the one recently posted on cruisecritic.com. It was a recap of a panel discussion at an industry trade show with the major cruise line CEOs where they talked about the state of the industry. What came through the discussion loud and clear, said cruisecritic.com, was “the industry’s continuing need to attract newcomers to cruising.”

Consider this: three new mass market ships have launched/are launching this year—the Norwegian

The Regal Princess on its sea trials. Passenger capacity: 3,600.

Getaway (January), Princess’ Regal Princess (May) and Quantum (November). Their passenger capacity combined is 11,709. That’s a lot of new staterooms to fill.

The result of this state of affairs is that Royal Caribbean is shipping its newest, brightest stars on the sea outside the U.S. Because that’s where the growth is, the industry says.

So, Quantum of the Seas’ home port will be Shanghai. Anthem of the Seas will be based in England.

What can we do about it? How do we ensure cruising stays a vibrant, growing market right here in the U.S. over the long term?

Be a cruise champion. A myth-buster. Tell your friends, family and work colleagues what a great, cost-effective vacation it is. How it can bring scattered families together. And how it’s a chance to get away from the cell phones, tablets and PCs that are invading our lives. To really, truly unwind, the old-fashioned way. And not feel the slightest bit guilty while doing it.

But before you put away that cell phone or tablet...check out Musing’s Top Tip!

Musing’s Top Tip

Reminding us that anticipation is half the fun, cruiseline.com has given us a tool to feed our cruise fever. It’s a nice little free app for your cell phone or tab that gives you a countdown to your next trip, deck plans, itinerary, quick summaries of your ports, excursions and more. (And did I mention it was free?) You can get the app from this link, Ship Mate App, or visit cruiseline.com and select “More” from the top menu.

Quiet Times

It seemed like such a great idea. We’d schedule a cruise over the holidays so we wouldn’t have to take as many days off from work. Then the Celebrity sales rep said, “You know, during Christmas week, we get about 600 kids.”

All of a sudden, our week of blissful heaven began to look the depths of you-know-where.

 
It was then that we realized finding quiet when you cruise is not a given—you’ve got to work at it. Here are some suggestions (no guarantees, mind you!) for getting that piece of peace on your next sea voyage:
 
Quiet times: avoid school vacations. Obvious, yes. But a bit harder to pull off. You’ve got elementary school vacations. College vacations. Florida’s vacations. Canada’s vacations. They can all be different. Is it worth avoiding these times? Just read a few of the reviews in cruisecritic.com by the unlucky travelers who found themselves sharing a ship with those 600 kids.
 

The tranquility of Central Park at night
on Royal Caribbean's Allure of the Seas.

Quiet rooms: pick your stateroom very carefully. Check what’s above and below you, as well as side to side. You don’t want to be anywhere around the gym, jogging track, cafeteria, dining room, discos, bars, pools or laundromats. Or too close to the elevators, the crew’s linen room, the galleys, or where the luggage comes in and out.
 
If you’re going for a balcony room, it’s better not to be across from an inside room. And unless you’re traveling with family or friends, I would avoid adjoining rooms as well. 
 
Musing’s Top Tip: It’s nearly impossible to read room numbers on those deck plans in the cruise catalogs, so try enlarging them on a copier. Makes checking out the rooms much easier.

A hideaway on Celebrity's Solstice.

 
Quiet moments: stay when everyone else goes. Many will tell you the best time to be onboard is when the ship empties out in port. A lovely silence pervades the vessel. There are seats in the cafeteria. Even the crew looks more relaxed.
 
On each ship, there’s always little hideaway to discover. Your best bet is off times. The crow’s nest is usually empty during the day. Hardly anyone uses the library. And somewhere onboard, there’s a cozy armchair in a corner with your name written all over it.

 

 

How to Be a Tightwad and Still Have Fun

We’re not the cruise lines’ best customers. Well, yes, we’ve done a lot of cruising—14 so far, with number 15 coming up fast. But we spend little beyond the cost of the cruise.

Yet our tightwad-ness does not detract from the experience one little bit. In fact, that we are frugal on trips allows us to take more of them.

If you’re on a tight budget or just want to be able to afford more trips, here are a few tips on saving money when you cruise:

Start at the very beginning. Get the lowest price on the cruise that you can. There’s plenty of info out there on how to snag the best price. For example, book early—at least a year out—for the best price and choice of room. Or, get a last-minute deal. If you’re going with a cruise line you’ve sailed with before, you might be able to get a loyalty club discount.

Saving the night before. When we first started cruising, we spent the night before in the traffic-clogged, high-octane, always-expensive, stress-producing Ft. Lauderdale. We wised up and now stay outside of town, for a cheaper, more relaxing experience. This only works, of course, if you’re driving to the port.

The lowdown on stateroom savings. The cost of a stateroom varies all over the place. Not just inside room (the bottom price) vs. suite (the top price), but categories of staterooms, based on where they are on the ship and where they are on each deck. Getting a room on “guarantee” (the ship picks where you’re going to end up) can snag savings.

A trip within a trip can pay off—or not. While cruise line-sponsored excursions at the ports can be memorable, other times they’re not worth the cost. You can try reading the forums (such as on cruisecritic.com), but with the cruise lines offering so many, it’s hard to get any feedback on the specific excursion you’re interested in. Look carefully at the excursion itinerary and the timing to help make a decision.

No-cost beaching. Some ports have nearby beaches or pools you can use for free, so you can skip the beach excursions. Some examples: St. Maarten’s Philipsburg (tender to the public beach right in

The public beach in St. Maarten's Philipsburg

town), Aruba’s Oranjestad (public beach is about a 10-minute walk from the pier), Grand Turk (beach--as well as a big pool--are right at the pier) and Costa Maya (huge public pool right at the pier).

Walk, don’t cab. Balance off all that sitting and eating onboard with a walk into town. Not only do you get to see more of the town that way, but you’ll burn off some calories, which makes room for some more!

Booze for free. Most of the cruise lines now allow you to bring a few bottles of wine on board. And if you cruise a few times on one line, you’ll automatically be included in their loyalty club, which entitles you to special events, which often include free drinks.

Ask the veterans for their tips. Anyone who has cruised a few times has money-saving tips of their own. Like when you’re in St. Maarten, invest in the unlimited tender fee instead of the one-trip fee, so you can go back and forth to the ship as many times as you want. Or take advantage of the free wi-fi at the library in Dominica’s Roseau, which is just a short walk from the pier. Get your bottles of rum at the Kmart near the Havensight port in St. Thomas.

If you don’t think the excursions, specialty restaurants, bar bill and casino visits add up, consider this: on his first cruise, what a friend of mine spent on all of these nearly equaled the cost of the cruise itself!

Have some of your own tips for saving money on cruises? Please let us all know!

 

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

If you’re like me, more than a few times after an unpleasant surprise, you’ve thought: why didn’t someone warn me?

Well, today I’m going to share some cruise planning tips that we found out the hard way. So you don’t have to.

Like to gamble? Cruise during hurricane season. When you cruise the Caribbean, sun and warmth is a given. But go during hurricane season and you’ve just shot the dice. Getting stuck on a cruise ship in strong winds and rain isn’t much fun. So, know that Atlantic hurricane season is June 1 through November 30, with the peak in early September.

Just a word or two about the peak: that only means the odds of a hurricane go way up. It’s still a gamble going the other vulnerable months. One year, we thought we were safe going the first week in November, but just missed a hurricane by a few days. And though the weather was fine, the seas were still rough. The cost? The captain bypassed our stop at the cruise line’s  Bahamas private island, a highlight of the trip.

Build in time for coming and going. Then, add some more. You can never build in enough time for getting to the pier and getting out of it. This is not the time to cut it close. Flights get cancelled. Luggage gets lost. Cars break down. The cab gets lost. Customs takes forever. The port is under construction. There’s going to be a hard rain. Or fog. You get the idea.

It helps to find out as much as you can ahead of time about what to expect:

• Read the forums such as cruisecritic.com
• Go into port websites to find your way around in advance. Is there going to be construction to slow down traffic? Where’s your ship going to be docked? Closer to the port entrance or at its furthest point? If you visit Ft. Lauderdale’s Port Everglades’ website (see “Ship Schedule”) two weeks or less before your cruise, you can find out your ship’s pier and how many other ships will be in port. This could impact your parking options

Is that itinerary stop open for business? This one still pains me. One time, I chose a particular cruise because it was going to Martinique. What I didn’t notice was that it was pulling in on a Sunday. The port was closed up tight. Another trip, St. Maarten was celebrating a national holiday and most of Philipsburg took the day off.

Some itineraries have you getting into a port very late in the day. By the time you get off the ship, it’s even later. If everything closes at 5, what are you going to be able to see?

And some get you into port when the sun rises and leave just a few hours later.

Tendering to Philipsburg, St. Maarten. The ships dock,
but you still need a tender to get into town.

My advice? If the ports are important to you, study the itinerary carefully. Call the cruise line with questions. And read the forums.

Tendering adds time. It helps to know in each port whether you’re going to be sitting in the middle  of all the action or in the middle of the harbor. Tendering can easily add an hour or more to the process of getting on and off the ship. You also want to know what pier you’re arriving at. In St. Thomas, for example, there’s a big difference between the piers at Havensight and Crown Bay in terms of proximity to Charlotte Amalie.

Choose your excursions wisely. We made the mistake of picking a tour of the Bacardi factory on our first trip to San Juan. The whole process of busing there and back, and waiting around with the huge crowd for our turn to tour took hours. When we finally got back into the city, everything was closing.

I hope this helped a bit. And if you had your own wish-someone-had-told-me moments, don’t make us suffer—please let us know!