What Terrifies the Cruise Director and Scares the Pants Off the Rest of Us

I think most of us would agree that people-watching is a pleasure of the highest order on a cruise. It provides endless amusement and fodder for conversation. The antics of The Quest, the shockers of Love and Marriage, the laughs of the Sexiest Man, and on and on.

But sometimes, watching what people do is positively bewildering. Please, please, please, don’t do this on a cruise:

Ask if you can do a backflip on the ice with the ice show’s star skater for the camera. Unless you want to see the cruise director grow pale with visions of lawsuits dancing in his head.

Pick up a wild iguana at the Crown Bay pier in Charlotte Amalie to show off for your friends.

Cute and cuddly?

Unless you want your fellow cruisers to spend the rest of their trip fighting off salmonella.

Be so “photoblivious” that you step in the middle of the street to take a photo and ignore the cars trying to pass around you. Unless you want to try out the Caribbean medical system.

Play dodge-the-hand sanitizer man. Unless you want to spend two days of your cruise throwing up and quarantined.

As the comedians say, “You can’t make this stuff up.” It all happened on my Allure of the Seas cruise just a few weeks ago.