Behind the Scenes, Front and Center

A while back, I had read that on some ships you could get a tour of the bridge. It wasn’t publicized anywhere; you had to ask. So when we boarded our next cruise, which was on Celebrity’s Constellation, I made a beeline for Guest Relations. I leaned across the counter and in a hushed and conspiratorial voice, said to the rep, “Are you…are you offering any tours of the bridge?”

When that rep said yes, I was floored. This was only a few years after 9/11 and I couldn’t believe such generosity.

Well, a lot’s changed since then. Now, behind-the-scenes tours are regular cruise ship offerings. Some are free. Others charge—a lot—for the pleasure.

Typically, the tours are of the galley (kitchen) and the theater, and sometimes, the bridge and other command centers. And if you do sign up for a bridge tour, be prepared to show identification.   

View from the bridge 

If you are lucky enough to get up on the bridge, you will truly be amazed when the crew member points to something that looks uncomfortably like a joy stick as the control for steering the ship.

Some of the cruise lines go beyond the “this-is-where-we-do-this/this-is-where-we-do-that.” Often during a galley tour, you’ll meet the executive chef and other higher-ups of the kitchen staff. You may see a food carving demo and even get a few goodies as you're shepherded through the gleaming stainless steel-lined corridors. I’ve even been on a galley tour where the crew hawked the ship’s cookbook (do we really want to make the ship’s food when we get home?) and offered book signings. Another tour kicked off with a set of skits emceed by an Eastern European Jay Leno.

A stop on the Caribbean Princess galley tour

The theater tour can also be interesting, especially when it comes with a visit to the costume room. With oversized animal heads lining the floor and shelves of wigs on headless busts, it can be as spooky as a carny fun house.

If you take a tour, though, be forewarned: if you think you’re going to get a real sneak peek behind the cruise curtain, know that these are well-orchestrated events that are regularly listed on Princess Patter and the like, along with the tango dance classes and hairy leg contests.

Still, they’re well worth it. Not only do you get a new appreciation for all that goes on behind the scenes in running these resorts at sea, but just think of all the trivia you can pull out just when you need it to impress (or bore?) all your friends when you get back home.

 

The Great Sea Smoke Out

There’s a sea change under way over the ocean. Like a long and slow drag, smoking on cruise ships is drifting away.

Within the last few weeks, Disney and Cunard became the latest to ban smoking from balconies.

All I can say is that it’s about time. All it takes is one person smoking next door to make you wonder why you bothered to spend the extra money for that verandah.

Smoking is still allowed in cabins on some cruise lines. Others restrict it to a few public areas and outdoor spots (ironically, often near the jogging track).

I understand the reluctance of the cruise lines to ban it completely. Cruises do attract the sedentary and let’s face it, that’s where you’ll often find the smokers.

Just a quick visit to a ship casino and you’ll see what I mean. Interestingly, Princess has been doing something innovative with its smoking policy. On the Caribbean Princess a few months ago, we were surprised to see that some nights in the casino were designated smoke-free. We could actually get past the slots to the theater without wishing we had worn an oxygen mask.

If the other cruise lines follow suit, we’ll all breathe easier.

Cruise and Food: Waist Not?

My spouse objected to the reference to my “ever-expanding  belt” in my last blog entry. Which brings up the issue of cruises and food, a bountiful, joyful subject.

It’s not a misconception to say that a big part of cruising is the food. There is a lot of food on cruises. To some extent, the cruise lines are pulling back, as evidenced by the disappearance of some of the blow-you-away features we enjoyed when we first started cruising, like the midnight buffet that took Celebrity many days and man hours to put together.



Celebrity's Midnight buffet from days gone by

But food’s still a preoccupation onboard. We Americans like our food—lots of it—and the cruise lines, eager to please, are happy to oblige. Some like to blow you away with the stats. Here’s a recent sample from Caribbean Princess:

·         Average amount of pasta made daily: 500 lbs.

·         Average amount of poultry cooked daily: 1,400 lbs.

·         Average amount of potatoes cooked daily, 2,700 lbs.

In fact, you can get some kind of food 24 hours a day on most big cruise ships. Room service, which costs a small fortune at the typical hotel, can be had for free on the large ships (there are a few exceptions—some of the lines have begun to charge a bit for late-night service).

One of the things my spouse loves about Princess is that its ship cafeterias are open until midnight, to accommodate late diners, diners who want second dinners and anyone else looking for a place to schmooze over that eighth cup of coffee.

But in all seriousness, after 13 cruises, my spouse and I are still the normal weight we’ve always been. Because on the ship, we exercise the same self-control we do at home. And when we’re in St. Thomas, instead of following the crowd to the nearest taxis, we walk into town—even when RCI’s Allure of the Seas, HAL’s Noordam or Princess’ Caribbean Princess is docked a mile and a half away at Crown Bay.

And when we’re not in port? My spouse drags me to the jogging track, which is found on every big ship, to walk round and round, feeling self-satisfied as we pass the smokers taking a drag with one hand and a nip with the other, and sleeping sunbathers with books balancing on their bright-red full bellies. RCI’s Oasis of the Seas class jogging track, by the way, is the best—it’s the length of the ship, with three laps equaling one mile.

Walking is certainly the easiest and least painful way to exercise, but every large ship has a gym, with exercise classes that are free and machines that look out over the ocean, so you can watch the ship break the waves while you break a sweat.

Bottom line? I enjoy the food on the ship and yes, if I own up, I do eat more than I do at home. But at most, I put on two or three pounds. And after a week at home, that extra weight disappears, though the memories from my fabulous vacation gratefully linger.

Bon Voyage, Love Boat

It was with some sadness that today I read that the “Love Boat”—the original Pacific Princess ship nicknamed after the ‘70s TV series—was on its final voyage, bound for a Turkish scrap heap. To be taken apart and cast away forever.

But, how far we’ve come since those days that Captain Stubing was at the helm! Some in the industry credit the TV show for putting cruising on the map—figuratively and factually. CLIA, the industry trade association, says that the number of cruisers has grown 2,100 percent since 1970! How many industries can boast this kind of success!

There was definitely something appealing about that TV show, even though its predictable formula was often a yawner (and let’s face it, for those of us who were single back then, the booby prize for a dateless Saturday night).

But looking back on show (which, by the way, runs regularly on Princess Cruises’ ships, on the big “Movies Under the Stars” screen over the pool), it hardly resembles the cruises of today.

First off, the Love Boat only carried 600 guests. Today’s biggest vessels—Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas class—carry more than 10 times that number. And whereas most early passengers may have had little more than pools, parties and ping pong to keep them busy, today’s liners offer miniature golf, ice skating, rock climbing walls, wave machines, zip lining, carousels and soon, even bumper cars! (I’ve even heard rumors about skeet shooting….) And who knows what’s up next—water skiing from the stern, anyone?

With all this fun, how come only 20 percent of us have tried it? My guess is that most are content in their misconceptions. As we once were. We came at cruising late in the game—more about that later—but we’ve been making up for lost time. Since moving to Florida in ‘05, we’ve been doing two a year and our 14th is right around the corner. Can’t wait!

Of course, even with 13 cruises under my ever-expanding belt (thanks to those buffets), I’m hardly an expert. And I’m not a travel agent nor have ever in any way been part of the travel industry. Just a writer who, it seems, has elevated cruising to an obsession. I know there are others of you out there like me—who, when they close their eyes, see a veranda, an eye-squinting brilliant sun and canvas of calm seas.

This blog—which starts where the Love Boat leaves off—is for you and for me.